THIS WOULD BE FUNNY, IF IT WASN'T SO SAD.

1967 vs. 2007

Scenario : Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

1967 - Vice principal comes over to look at Jack's shotgun. He goes to his own car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2007- School goes into lock-down, and FBI is called. Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

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Scenario : Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1967- Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.

2007- Police called. SWAT team arrives. Johnny and Mark are arrested and charged with assault. Both are expelled even though Johnny started it.

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Scenario : Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1967- Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal.
He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey is diagnosed with A. D. D. and given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from State because Jeffrey has a learning disability.

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Scenario : Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his dad gives him
a whipping with his belt.

1967- Bill y is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007- Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist convinces Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself, and their dad goes to prison. Billy's Mom has affair with psychologist.

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Scenario : Mark has a headache and brings some aspirin to school.

1967- Mark takes aspirin in lunchroom and headache goes away.

2007- Police called. Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. Car is searched for drugs and weapons.

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Scenario : Pedro fails English in high school.

1967- Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

2007- Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.


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Scenario : Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a fire ant hill.

1967- Ants die.

2007- Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Homeland Security, and FBI called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates parents; siblings are removed from home; computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad goes on Terror Watch List and is never allowed to fly again.

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Scenario : Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher who hugs him to comfort him.

1967 - In a short time, Johnny fee ls bet ter and goes on playing.

2007 - Teacher is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in state prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.